From my upcoming book “April was Born in May.”

The other day I was rushing to the gym and fell; I scratch my knee, it was an ugly scratch. For a moment I made up a storm about my self -love and esteem.

Lately, I had gained some pounds, and I was trying to burn them at the gym, but not in the kitchen. I was not the same disciplined with my diet.

But, was it that I was being disciplined at the gym or, was it that I was punishing myself with hard work I didn’t even like?

Moreover, a bunch of nonsense “what ifs” flooded my mind. What if my sugar was high due to the overweight? What is my knee wouldn’t heal? What if I had an infection? What if I end up in the hospital? Big drama you’d say. I thought so, too.

The right question.

Whatever was happening, I decided to slow down for a couple of days, and finally, the right question arose. Why was I having this experience? Let’s face it; I was not honoring, nor being kind to myself. On the contrary, I was pushing and whether or not I wanted to admit it, not being mindful of my food was also a punishment. I had stomach upsets almost every single day.

But, where did this anger came from? I was angry because of the overweight because I couldn’t wear my favorite clothes. I was angry because I didn’t like what I was looking in the mirror.

I have learned from real master coaches like Martha Beck, Barbara Huson, Deepak Chopra, and Theresa Trosky; it was time to apply the wisdom.

First thing, I owned my anger, the anger was me, not the overweight. I decided to experience my anger deeply; I cried, I made a tantrum. I even ate a browny and felt angrier. I also learned this was old anger. I realized I was angry, not only lately but from a long time ago; when I was told I was a fat girl. That opinion was not mine! Not me!

I gave myself permission for being angry, and also because I’d  purchased that opinion.

It was then when I could see the light. The miracle happened. I saw and accepted my body as it is with compassion; but also I respected it with love.

It was time to get started; I would allow my knee to heal, so I didn’t force it on the treadmill. My diet became a priority; I knew what to do. My body loves the plant-based diet with some fish and seafood once in a while.

I decided to treat myself with some shrimp. Pasta? No! My body said Shrimp grilled with garlic, Brussels sprouts, and baby broccoli. I listened.

“A glass of wine, dear body?”

“Yes, red wine, please.”

“Dessert, dear body?”

“Yes, two strawberries and a fig, please.”

That was a five-star dinner. I felt so well.

I fell in love with my body. I owned my overweight and blessed each extra pound. They served me yesterday, but today, then I let them go with peace and honor.

I thanked God for showing me the lesson and my worth. I am back to real discipline; I love that word. Discipline comes from “discipulus”, the Latin word for pupil; I am my mentor and my student at the same time. I am my devoted fan!

Monica Paul

Monica Paul


I am Monica. I love to write and to paint with my hands or eith my computer’s hands. I spend most of my spare time writing stories, there is where I spill all the fantasy that runs through my wild and irreverent spirit. I also have a business, it differently from those who plan to open their companies; one day my dreamed job was lost; I was unemployed, frustrated, and in need for income. I started freelancing. All of a sudden I had a brand.


  1. Aurora Carlson

    Thanks for sharing Monique, you found such a great way to reconnect with your body! Very inspiring!

    • Monique

      Thank you, Aurora, yes I did, and now I am applying this same dialogue with my body everyday. We have delicious, healthy foods, and my weight is going back to normal. 🙂


Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Schedule an Interview


Contact Publisher


Contact Monica


Share This

By continuing to use the site, you agree to the use of cookies. more information

The cookie settings on this website are set to "allow cookies" to give you the best browsing experience possible. If you continue to use this website without changing your cookie settings or you click "Accept" below then you are consenting to this.