A few weeks ago, I was the one who would suffer alone. How was Monica going to accept she couldn’t fix things herself? That was impossible! Monica was supposed to be strong and do everything herself; if she didn’t know how to do it, she would Google it, but Monica would show how vulnerable she could be. Living that way was so painful.
And with all this self-infringed pain would come the habit of anticipation; why? Because my crazy Ego wanted to be perfect and always be ready for the worst, so I would visualize it, live it, suffer it in anticipation. Do you know what I was doing? I was creating that painful future. Energy is so powerful that my anticipated pain would materialize.
So here I am, with a financial setback, and a lot of unexpected expenses thanks to my “prevention?”
What is the use of all the courses and exercises I have taken, if I allow myself to be carried away by the dark energy of fear and if I anticipate myself in the most negative way possible?
“Ownershit,” I learned this word from Leigh Koechner. It is the word for owning my negative stuff to change it. Anticipation is my shit to own.
“I am a powerful creator,” I would say. “Oh yes! A powerful creator of category five hurricanes in my life.”
And while the financial situation was getting worse, I was anticipating more tragedy.
Leigh also talked about our “Powerful Partner,” I had never thought about the Universe or God–whatever you want to call Him–that way.
I asked. “Powerful Partner, please guide me, I feel lost.”
He replied. Messages came to me, coincidences? I don’t think so! Synchronicities? Yes for sure!
I realized I have been living the result of my negative anticipation. When I anticipate to facts, and I imagine the worst scenario and push myself into a solution, I am struggling; I am breaking the flow of the Universe and nature.
In fact, anticipating is an action, and like every action, it becomes a creative act, it leads to an outcome, the exact result that I do not want to have.
I started this exercise; I am doing my best to be aware of any anticipation I make. When I get myself anticipating, I change it into this statement: “Power Partner, I put this on your hands, act your way so that I can get what is best for me out of this.”
After repeating this statement as many times as I need, I focus on something else, preferably in the present. Letting go is hard, but as I change and evolve, my life is changing for the good, and I can fulfill my desires.
It is all within. Sharing this with you, makes me feel stronger with real strength. I know I am doing the right thing, I stopped struggling. I am discovering many more things to improve, and I will enjoy to share them with you. From now on, I will never anticipate, and I will ask for help as many times I need.
I am not the first nor the last one to go through things like this, and what I love the most is if I can help someone with these few paragraphs.
I am Monica. I love to write and to paint with my hands or eith my computer’s hands. I spend most of my spare time writing stories, there is where I spill all the fantasy that runs through my wild and irreverent spirit. I also have a business, it differently from those who plan to open their companies; one day my dreamed job was lost; I was unemployed, frustrated, and in need for income. I started freelancing. All of a sudden I had a brand.